


pink honey

by brandywine421



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), F/M, Family Dynamics, Gen, Post-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27490123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandywine421/pseuds/brandywine421
Summary: She called it 'wispy' once, in a flawed attempt to explain her state of mind after losing her best friend on an alien planet before he got to see his family again.*Self-indulgent and fluff-tastic Post-Engame AU where Natasha makes a plan.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Natasha Romanov, Matt Murdock/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 16
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to write a Hallmark-ish fluffy fic about making a family but the muses disagreed and now we have this.

_Oh, Echo_  
_I been bouncing off the wall_  
_But we come together_  
_We keep our distance from ourselves_  
_But we should know better_

* * *

She called it 'wispy' once, in a flawed attempt to explain her state of mind after losing her best friend on an alien planet before he got to see his family again. 

Wispy like the dust of disintegrated souls as they watched their loved ones fade into the ether - wispy like the whispered pleas and prayers and curses - wispy like the wave of fear that took years to fade.

They won. Defeated Thanos in a furious fuck up of a plan with casualties she couldn't face in the aftermath. Clint, then Tony - and Steve, the fucking traitor - goddamn Steve Rogers getting his life together in the past like a fucking goddamn traitor.

Everything was wispy afterward. Fury, not the alien one, tried to force her to retire but he could suck her dick, because - alien replacements were worse than robot replacements and fuck him. Maria liked space too much to come home and Sam and Bucky were like overeager puppies.

She was tired and frustrated and - wispy. She felt lost, untethered and lacking.

* * *

The scrub of his roughly shaved beard was soothing across her lower back, the roughness of his calloused hands like sandpaper in the best ways on her thighs.

"Do you miss me?" he asked tonight, settling in to spoon with her permission and to avoid the wet spot on her side.

She'd spent days, and nights, but mostly days with him during the five years of hell. Driving down to Hell's Kitchen and blowing him in his home office. Inviting him upstate and bending him over in her home office. She surprised him by coming back after the funerals - she liked that she could still surprise him.

"You don't make time for me to miss you," she replied. He didn't know how to turn off - dedicated to law and justice and futility during the day and chaos and pain and fury during the night.

"Do you want me to?"

She twisted in his arms, pinning his thigh between hers. "I want a lot of things."

"Me too," he mouthed into her throat.

"I like the way you make me feel. I like that you care about what I want. I - want you to care more, sometimes, but that would mean I have to care more and - that's a lot of pressure," she confessed. 

"You make me want more. Then you leave," he whispered.

"You won't like me if I stay."

"I always love you, even when I don't like you," he smiled, pressing his lips to her pulse.

* * *

She stopped going on missions as third wheel to the Sam and Bucky show and she stopped visiting the farm when Laura started dating the local dentist and Lila blamed her for Wanda going darkside - and she couldn't think of an excuse.

She didn't stop visiting Hell's Kitchen. She found him new office space and lounged in his office with her socked feet in his lap while he charmed clients and tried to reassure his recently returned friends that he wasn't a mentally unstable criminal out for vengeance - he was totally beyond that.

She didn't stop spending nights curled around him. He couldn't stop listening to the sirens and the screams and the cries unless she held on tight enough to blind him with her skin and heartbeat and steady steady presence. She couldn't stop thinking about the aliens and the enemies and the endless heads of HYDRA unless he snuggled his wandering, teasing, ticklish hands into her edges and elbows and curves of her ribs.

She didn't promise to stay but she promised not to leave.

It was a promise she wanted to keep.

* * *

It was her idea and he went silent for hours after she mentioned it.

Bruce kept the procedure a secret, a gift, and she wanted - thought - maybe hoped - she had found the right time to open it.

He wanted to marry her first, but she said no. He wanted to give her time to think about it, but she refused. He said he loved her and she said she loved him back.

* * *

There were endless, frantic negotiations and discussions and balls-out arguments. There were all night makeouts and morning walks and breaks for brunch.

Then there was something else.

* * *

Bruce had a cousin and Matt had an apprentice and he gave her his word that he would follow through on his part if she would follow through on hers.

* * *

_So show me your love under a bad moon_  
_We'll find your pieces in your bedroom_  
_'Cause it's bringing me back_  
_It's bringing me back_

* * *

Sam knew they'd been away too long when Natasha turned, silhouetted in the window. Bucky was silent, the coward, but he was team lead - and he'd definitely been away too long if he was thinking about teams right now.

"The father?"

"He's a good man. Steady job, religious as fuck and has saved my life on multiple occasions," she said, raising her chin without a blink. "I owe him my life, and my sanity at least once - but never tell him that."

Sam inhaled, not hiding his shock. He'd learned hiding things wasn't worth the payback.

"He'll never see her," she said firmly.

"That's harsh, Nat," Bucky said, equally firm. 

She silenced them all, folding her hands across her flat stomach. "He's convinced me to take three years off from field work. We've agree to co-parent the child but - I hate his apartment and I don't have a place of my own yet."

"That's low on the priority list, isn't it?" Sam hesitated. This wasn't an unplanned - shit, it was Natasha, of course it wasn't unplanned. But he felt blindsided anyway. 

"He's - very good with children," she said, turning around abruptly. Emotions engaged - shit - red alert. "He doesn't trust himself with babies - wouldn't trust himself to do it alone but - he'll be the best father. He'll keep her safe no matter what - "

"Of course, Nat, we know that - " Bucky promised.

She gave him the finger and turned around, composed. "He's not eager to be introduced."

Sam snapped his fingers. "He's one of the vigilantes, not a spy - that's why his identity's so important to you."

She glared at him, annoyed but he wanted to think he had her figured out. Bucky nodded along. "And why you never told us about him. Did Barton - "

"They were friends, but not close - he didn't know about the Farm or the family, and Clint didn't hang out with him out of the mask."

"You trust us, but he doesn't - that's fair. And it's smart considering - considering everything," Bucky let his words fade.

Sam took a chance and opened his arms and she took advantage and stepped into the hug. Bucky made a dismissive noise. 

"We don't think we'd make good spouses, but we can be good parents."

"I know you will, but we'll reserve our judgment on your sperm donor," Sam said.

She smiled. "He'll kick your ass if you call him that - he's never been able to shake his Catholicism problem."

"You know we're going to be, like, all up your ass when we're in town - and I want godfather status," Bucky flared up.

"I want her to have a home," she said. "Filled with family - and I'm sorry I didn't have a town meeting when I decided but - "

"We don't get a say, not in this - but Bucky's right, we're going to stay at your place when we're in town to see the kid."

She sighed but he saw the flicker of relief cross her face. "I'm meeting his friends tonight to discuss - preparations. He's taking three years off after, too, and while his law partners will be overjoyed - his allies aren't going to like it. He micromanages the fuck out of Hell's Kitchen and I'm not sure he's going to be able to turn it off as easily as I can walk away from the job."

Sam disagreed and Bucky snickered openly. "You've never taken a day off, Nat."

"This is something I can't fuck up," she stated.

"You deserve a life, Natasha, and a family that loves you. I can't promise we'll approve of Daredevil in person, but you and your child are Fam," Sam said.

"Your jokes used to be better, I'm disappointed," she frowned.

"Have you met his friends before tonight?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah, the local heroes all stuck around during the snap and the others know me from being around after. I don't know his apprentice, or the new girl and it would be nice if you could back me up."

* * *

"Baby comes first," Samuel said, breaking the shimmer of silence after Matt's announcement.

"I'm raising my hand because - well, I have questions," Foggy said.

"Go," Matt accepted, Natasha rumbling with laughter behind him.

"I just got used to the fact that you've been managing Daredevil and the law firm and all kinds of shit while we were disappeared but you told me that Natasha was just - "

He wondered what kind of look she was giving him.

"A baby, Matt? Wow," Karen said. "I knew you moved on but - that's moving on."

"You were dating Frank when you snapped and he's got a house-full of toddlers!" he protested.

She sniffed. "They're puppies, not people-children."

Natasha poked him in the side.

"We're making the arrangements - it's not a retirement, don't get excited, but - three years minimum without the suit," Matt admitted. "That should give us time to find a balance with the kid. Full time lawyer and - "

"Papa," Natasha filled in. 

"And Nat's sitting out the superhero and spycraft. We can pick up the slack," Sam Wilson spoke up.

He wondered how her confession had gone if the two soldiers were so fully on board. They seemed more worried than suspicious and he should know why.

"Baby comes first," Samuel repeated with an exaggerated nod. "I still expect training and money to run your errands but I won't let you risk your life if you have a lady and child waiting for you at home."

"You're an intern not an errand boy," Matt corrected. "It's not my fault you're scared to come into the office when Foggy and Karen are around."

"It's your fault I haven't met him. Let the kid use the front door instead of the roof sometimes, I promise not to bite," Natasha said. Samuel made a sound that he interpreted as mistrust - smart kid.

"We got your back, Murdock," Jessica said. "Blindspot will call one of us first for street-work and Nat will use her judgment to ping one of us when you hear something until you can screen for yourself."

"I also hired a new - associate to help with our cases while you catch up on the new laws and guidelines laid down while you were gone," Matt said, wincing preemptively at their gasps.

"You'll understand when you meet her," Natasha said. "It was my request - not because of the workload or stress - "

"Jennifer Walters," Matt interrupted so Foggy didn't spontaneously combust.

"She-Hulk? You want him to have a bodyguard," Karen perked up.

"You need the help and she needs the credibility," Natasha said, preening at Matt's discomfort. "If my enemies make him a target, he'll need the extra defense."

"He made a lot of headlines while you were away," Jessica muttered. "Represents most of the Supers in the area, got the Fantastic Four out of government control and Magneto out of space jail - we all know you're a great lawyer, Nelson, but take the help while you can get it."

"I regret the Magneto thing, he's no longer a client," Matt admitted.

"So you've just been soft-balling me cases for the past few months?" Foggy asked quietly.

"No, I've been giving you the ones I need help with - I told you this would happen," Matt sighed, turning to Natasha.

"Not my fault you don't know how to communicate with your friends."

Samuel cleared his throat. "Most of the big clients won't work with anyone but Matt, I don't even get to sit in on those to take notes and he likes the local clients best but he can't be everywhere at once."

"You are going to start coming in the office, invisible or not," Karen zeroed in on the kid.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Foggy said, pulling him aside after Jen made her appearance with a fresh keg on her shoulders and an apology for breaking his door - again. "I've been so focused on getting Marci back and keeping Theo from losing his mind that I haven't been putting my full focus into work."

"You have, it's amazing to have you back but - I wasn't sure how you'd feel about my specialized clients. The laws regarding the Enhanced are so fucking messy and I probably should have made the time to brief you on the actual caseload instead of giving you the Hell's Kitchen batches - " 

Foggy shook him by the shoulders. "Stop. I haven't - you're turned up to like, fifteen and I haven't even noticed. You - come here - "

Sammy shuffled over and poked Matt in the side. "I didn't know him before, he's always like this."

"He knew me in the mask first, took a while for him to forgive me when he found out who I was," Matt told Foggy.

Foggy shook him again. "Listen to me. I'm really fucking happy for you, okay? A kid - it's a big deal and you're making valid life choices and I'm - so excited for you but - we gotta talk about Nelson, Murdock and Page - "

"If I wasn't giving up Daredevil for paternity leave I'd gladly pass the big cases over to you, but - I'm going to need all the distraction so Natasha doesn't get tired of me tweaking out when I hear the screaming," Matt hissed.

"Hey, why are you fighting?" Karen interrupted, filling the space.

"We're not fighting," they denied in unison. Samuel huffed out a laugh and Matt put his arm around his shoulders and stepped out of Foggy's shaking reach.

"Marci wants to move back in with me, but she'll need a job."

Matt frowned. "Jen's nice and will totally do what I ask, Marci's is - the opposite of that."

"Sounds like you'll both have to adjust. Sammy and I will split the rest of the work, I need his help enrolling in school," Karen decided.

"Marci didn't want to work with me when you were gone," Matt said.

"She didn't know you were Daredevil and didn't want to handle your 'alcoholism' when she was grieving - she feels really guilty about it," Foggy admitted with finger quotes.

"I thought you told her - shit, I never asked," Matt realized.

"Can we back up, Boss?" Samuel asked. "You've been lecturing me for months about commitment and loyalty and thinking long term - so I have to ask, why aren't you getting married?"

"We're not ready for that. It's more than a piece of paper for us, this - sharing a life thing is new, but sharing a kid - we want to try."

"Okay. She said no, I get it," Sammy said. "I'm going to go eavesdrop on the superheroes before I head out on patrol."

"Wait," Matt protested.

"You can't take it back now - your apprentice is on task," he said, ducking from Matt's arm and blending into the other guests.

"We've got your back, Matt, for the office and emotional support. Anything, okay?" Karen promised.

* * *

_And I got all of your words still kicking around in my head_  
_And it goes on forever_  
_But we should know better_

* * *

The Snap had been unkind. He had learned to deal with loss, badly, and pain, gladly, and rage - okay, badly again - but half the planet's life disappearing in a blink - it had taken a lot out of him.

Jessica had been the first to find him and drag him off the streets. Followed a trail of blood he'd left behind without knowing when he'd been hurt. He didn't want to be a lawyer, to be Matt Murdock - he spun - sometimes he thought he was still spinning. 

Everyone lost someone, some lost everyone - but Natasha turned up with sharp elbows and clipped words and reminded him - reminded him that no one else could or would do what they did.

He didn't tell her that he'd been on the edge - more than normal and not on purpose - he could never tell her that. But she was solid, familiar and comfort in a world that was wrong.

He adjusted to her visits, giving her a key and tuning in to her voice when she tiptoed into his place while he was roaming the streets. He'd find her 'in repose' on his couch with a book or a puzzle or a deck of cards, if she was feeling naughty. She would call and talk to him about nothing, invite him to lounge in Avengers HQ with her eating cheese and crackers and olives on sticks.

He made room in his home and in his life for her, a small corner of warmth and gratitude and trust - she knew him, good and bad, tired and horny, now and then - she knew him and she kept coming over.

When her team regrouped and the thunder of returned souls filled the world again - she made room in her life for him.

She was grieving, before and after and always and fuck if Matt didn't know how that felt. She made him better and they tried the 'give and take'. He thought he took more than he gave but he was - happy. Settled. Comfortable.

He thought she was happy and maybe wanted to settle, too. Thought she was going to ask about long-term since that she had a new team to handle - maybe retirement or a desk job in the city but not - well. Not resolved infertility - a sperm donor - an absentee fatherhood offer - not any of those things.

He loved her even though she didn't want him to say it. She confessed to consulting psychologists and grief counselors and Bruce Banner for guided meditation and reflection, the jolly green bastard - and she knew what she wanted. She wanted a child. She wanted him to father her child - actually 'father' it - if he wanted.

She wanted a child - but did he want - could he - did he have room in his life for that kind of challenge? He loved Natasha, could he love and protect and take care of - a child?

He had to be honest and laid out his truth to her - all of it - the fear, the curse, the truth - he couldn't agree unless they did it together, as partners.

Her pulse slowed, breath evened and she kissed him, rewarding him for a correct answer.

He could do it with her. They could do it together.

* * *

Natasha knew Sam and Foggy had a wager on who would find the best 'family' home for them first - Matt resigned to give up his place as primary and turn it over to Samuel when they found a suitable place.

She checked the websites, stalked the classifieds and hacked all the realtors but she only needed Matt to make a home, but he needed Hell's Kitchen.

She never met Father Lantom, or Sister Maggie before their passings, but she'd been around enough to recognize the old-timers at the church and the renovated gym and barber shop.

Mrs. Mahoney told her to call her 'Bess' and introduced her to the elderly couple at the end of the row of townhouses a block away from Clinton Church and three blocks from the law office. She mapped the roof access and the well-lit streets and lack of traffic. Three stories if you counted the cellar - too small to be a basement, dear - but perfect for emergency exits or emergency visits. A nursery for the baby. Space for an office, or two but they would probably need an extra guest room more than an extra office. A dining room to entertain or plot coups - a kitchen with enough counter space to convince Matt to make that Italian thing he couldn't name but was delicious.

It was only after she'd cut the check that Bess confided in a low voice that Matt wouldn't find a safer place and the city he protected with his fists and blood would protect him and his family with the same dedication.

She didn't like the look the woman gave her when she found out there wasn't a wedding in the works but neighbors were low priority.

She didn't have to tell him which house it was, he knew everyone in the Kitchen and piped in that the Jenkins had been looking forward to retiring before the Snap. She took his arm and walked him down the sidewalk anyway, noting the curious looks and nods from the locals.

This was his home.

This could be home.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

_And everyone who knows our name_   
_Says that we ain't ever gonna change_   
_They say we're born to die young_   
_But we're trying to find a better way_

* * *

"You're in good shape, Nat, but at some point you're going to have to find a real obstetrician to help you," Bruce said, warily watching Matt in his supervision corner of the room.

"I think I want to have a home birth," she admitted.

"Oh." He didn't really want to deliver babies with his giant fingers.

"Hospitals overstimulate the hell out of me, but she has her own reasons for not wanting strangers to be near her when she's doing this," Matt offered.

"Right," Bruce whispered. He hadn't considered her trauma with science labs bleeding into this but - giving birth wasn't something he had to worry about.

"I don't need him to speak for me," she said but Matt shrugged off the warning. "But he has a point, plus I don't trust him not to fritz out and punch a nurse - "

"It was a surgeon and stop talking to my friends," Matt grumbled. Bruce fought a smile at their bickering.

"Anyone can break into a hospital and take the baby if it's - special. That's why I want you to consult," she said and Bruce nodded. "I don't trust anyone else."

"I know, but I wasn't the way I am now when I helped you before, Nat, you know my qualifications have changed." He wasn't comfortable with his permanently giant hands delivering a baby.

Matt tilted his head, frowning. "I don't get it."

"He wasn't like Jen, he was normal or he was giant - not in-between," Nat told him. "I don't want you to be friends."

Bruce sighed. "We've been over this."

Matt moved to the edge of the exam table. "The heartbeat sounds steady to me, but I want her to hear it."

He wasn't sure of Matt's superpowers apart from 'ninja' despite the many video clips Bucky dug up for their super-secret private chat. Enhanced hearing was back on the table.

Natasha took Matt's hand and placed it firmly on her stomach over the hospital gown and they both went completely still, settling. Bruce had never been able to give her that.

"My friend Claire is a certified doula but Nat hates her," Matt said as Bruce prepared the ultrasound equipment.

"It's mutual, she tried to lecture me about his ' _soft heart'_ and ' _gentle emotions'_ ," Natasha mimicked. "Granted, I don't think she knew who I was."

"You're telling the truth. Shit, she must have been really upset about my last 5150," Matt frowned.

"She did * **not** * like me answering your phone," Natasha said.

Bruce and Natasha had never - bantered - or met each other's friends outside of the Avengers - and even when he found a fix for what the Red Room had broken - they were never going to be on the same page enough to make babies together.

He wanted to be an unbiased physician but he was intrigued by his ex and her new beau. Or old beau. She'd known Daredevil before she'd met Bruce, one of the few lovers she'd confided to him about but the fondness - no - _ease_ , that was it - between them was intriguing.

"You'd probably get along," Matt said.

"So would you and Bruce but we need to maintain boundaries," Natasha insisted.

"But the baby will be friends with both of us," Bruce pointed out, smiling at her pinched expression.

"Fine, but I want you to clear the doula first. Just because Matt lets her sew him up twice a week doesn't mean I trust her to pull a baby out of me," she said.

Matt made a face. "That's not how it works."

Bruce was careful to pass her the stethoscope. "We're avoiding triggers today so tell me where - " he started but Natasha had already given the round part to Matt as she slid the ears in.

"She thinks I'm making it up," Matt confided with a soft smile, moving the device over her abdomen. Bruce watched Natasha's face shift as she found the sound. "But, I do hear a lot of things - "

"Shh," Natasha hushed. 

* * *

She was enjoying a peaceful morning alone, packing Matt's collected shit into boxes without his meddling hands and mouth distracting her from the task. She liked the new house. She wanted to live in the new house. Matt was not winning the battle of distraction - she would be **in** the new house before the baby.

The clatter of noise brought her out of the growing box of suspiciously expensive scarves - Matt and his obsession with 'soft' was going to keep them warm as hell come winter.

"He's my best friend. Don't tell him, but - yeah," Jessica said, kicking off her boots but still managing to stomp her way over to the kitchen counter. "So I need you not to be a bitch and - "

She raised an eyebrow and Jessica laughed off the rest of her statement. "Right, guess I'm no judge of that."

"Are you upset about the baby or the relocation?" Natasha asked. She liked Jessica as much as any of the skittish Defenders and hadn't expected to need to win her over.

"I'm not upset. My boyfriend is infected with baby envy and I - need a target for my rage," she sighed, slumping onto a stool. "I'm not interested in having children right now and I'm not sure I'm up for full time Hell's Kitchen Duty and - I don't like change, okay? This is a big change."

"Yeah," she agreed. "Luke wants kids?"

"He does _now_ , doesn't think 'eventually' is good enough anymore," Jessica said. "Wants to talk and talk about it and - I'm not ready to quit drinking and put someone else first, just - not yet, you know?"

She smiled. "I do."

Jessica sighed. "Yeah. I guess you do."

"I would do this without Matt. Honestly, he wasn't part of my long term plan, just, the donation part," she admitted. "I've - never had the chance at a 'normal' kind of life. My handlers took the motherhood option off the table before I had my first period. Probably why I fixated on it when the world ended and un-ended again."

"Shit," Jessica whispered.

"Nobody tells me what to do, how to live, what to eat, who to fuck - I have control over my life and I'm taking it," she continued. "I really didn't think he'd go along with it but - "

"He's a clingy sonofabitch once he knows you won't ghost him," Jessica said quietly.

She sighed. "I know. He's my best friend, too. I - this is the only place that feels - **right** anymore."

Jessica cursed and pulled her into a rough hug. "God, fine, go back to being a bitch so we don't have to do hugs."

"Are Luke and the other one having similar strong feelings about the change?" Natasha asked as they both brushed off the incidental comfort.

"God, no, they're buying out baby stores now that Karen's sent them the registry information," Jessica scoffed.

_Interesting_. "Matt told me he said no."

"You don't know Karen well enough yet. You'll have to handle that sooner rather than later - she's a much harder sell than I am."

"Show me this registry, since you've given me permission to be a bitch again, maybe I need to get involved in this unsanctioned gift-request."

"You sure you want to start a fight with Karen? She's Matt's favorite," Jessica grinned.

" _Foggy_ is his favorite, I'm not afraid of her," she decided. "Show me."

Jessica was sharp-tongued and quick to snark. Natasha missed Clint so much it ached in her bones but she had to keep going, she had reasons to keep going. 

"You all right?" Jessica cut through her thoughts.

"Sorry. Hormones and shit," she said. "You just reminded me of another asshole I used to know."

Jessica shrugged. "Don't mind being called an asshole, just don't let me turn into a bitch."

"Noted," she laughed.

* * *

  
_Hold tight, we're tired of playing along_   
_'Cause everybody's singing the same old fucking song_   
_So we fake it till we make it through the best years of our lives_   
_Yeah, we let 'em pass by, no, no, we never thought twice_   
  


* * *

  
She had both guns pulled and pointed before Samuel noticed, turning to greet her but snapping his mouth closed immediately.

"Sorry. Hi, Samuel."

"Hi. Didn't mean to - "

"I've been a spy since I was six, give or take, Kid, the day I stop being jumpy is the day I die," Natasha cut him off. He smiled but didn't seem to mean it. "You okay?"

"Sure. Yes. Thank you for asking," he said, voice softening with every word.

She studied him. "Are you scared of me?"

"No. But - you mean a lot to Sensei - "

"Does he let you call him that?" she winced. That got a real smile out of the kid. "Probably triggers the hell out of him. Do you want to wait inside?"

Samuel turned his attention back to the skyline. "Do you - think I'm a worthy replacement for Daredevil?"

"It's not really my call, but Daredevil seems to think so," she said, careful. She was stepping into a minefield.

"Oh, not like that, sorry. Just - I don't work like he does. I don't have Devil-radar, or Spider-tingle to guide my vengeance."

Guide his - what - whatever. "I don't know if he's a good influence on you," she considered. "But I also don't think he expects you to *be* him when you're out there. You're Blindspot, do your thing - I mean, how do you handle Chinatown?"

"I know **my** neighborhood," he said, slowly catching her point. "Right, that's why he's been making me patrol the same - right. I may be, slightly, nervous about the new responsibility."

She knew the feeling, considering.

"Right," he smiled. "I'm overthinking it."

"He's not worried about Hell's Kitchen, but he's probably knotted up with worry about you," Natasha said. "Don't worry about making him proud, he'll be satisfied if you stay alive. And don't worry about fucking up, either because - you've been running around with him enough to know he does that all the time."

_"I heard that!"_ So Matt was home.

"Thank you, for the pep talk," Samuel laughed. "I'll come inside and harass the old man before I head out."  
  


* * *

  
_"Hi."_

She blinked. "Hi." The last time she spoke with Laura it was a polite, _'please stay out of touch forever because you upset my children'_. She wasn't anticipating a follow up.

_"I'm sorry."_

"Oh." Wow. She wasn't equipped to handle this right now. She was having a nice day. The fuck. Matt's hand ghosted her arm before settling on her back. Damn ninja footsteps. "Sure. Me, too."

_"Shit. I thought this would be easier. I - I forgot that Clint was your best friend, too. Pepper asked about you, are you still - "_

She would never join their mommy club. Yuck. Matt moved his thumb in a steady rhythm and she was glad he was here. She didn't need Laura or the farm or Pepper. She had her own friends.

_"Sorry. Probably classified."_

"I'm retired. Is everything okay?"

_"Wanda came to Cooper's birthday. She asked about you, too, think she had words with Lila because - "_

She took a deep breath through her nose. They were Clint's family. Not hers.

_"Are you all right, Natasha?_ " Laura asked softly.

"Yes. I'm - I think he'd be happy for me," she replied.

Laura went silent but she didn't think it was too passive aggressive. " _Since the only person that had heard from you was Scott -_ Ant-Man _, I mean - that's just unacceptable, Nat."_

"I like Scott," she said. Everybody liked Scott. 

_"I'm sorry, we miss you and - can you make time for a visit? Or let me bring Lila to see you?"_

She - shit. Dammit.

"I - I'm still grieving and I'm not sure it's good for my mental health to leave town right now. I - promised Clint that when I retired I would surround myself with people that loved me." It sounded worse in her head but - honesty was key, or so she'd been told.

Matt pressed his lips to her cheek.

" _Ouch_ ," Laura murmured.

"I have a boyfriend and almost a home. I get to have a life. He died so everyone could have a life."

_"I know."_

Shit. "Stop being reasonable, I have the right to be hurt."

_"I know that, too."_

God, she could hear the woman's smile. Fuck her. "Fine. Bring Lila to the city, we'll go shopping and maybe - no promises - I'll let you see my house."

_"You bought a house? Shit, we'll be there this weekend if there's real estate involved."_

Matt traced a farewell pattern down her spine and drifted off to paw at her boxes, the extra sheets ones. Of course he'd make up a room for her friends. He was good at domestic when he needed to be. 

_"Nat."_

"I didn't have to go through it alone. It's - okay. It's okay," she whispered. Honesty. Key. Okay.

_"Okay. Can we still come - "_

"Yes. It - " God _damn_ it. "It'll be really good to see you."  
  


* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Title and lyric breaks belong to Dawn Golden/Houses - 'Pink Honey'.


End file.
